baggage

I'll admit, I'm a pretty open person. Sometimes a little too open. But there are definitely times where I am totally closed off. There are things that I've hidden from almost everyone and I'm completely content with it being that way--I'm sure everyone has that to some degree.

There are definitely times where I wish I could share everything with this certain person. It would make everything so much easier. For the most part. It would explain so much. Why I am the way I am. Why I do the things I do. What I react in such ways to certain situations. But I'm too afraid. I think I can trust them but there is still a part of me that is hesitant with that trust. Trust that could either make or break us. And breaking is not a place I would want to go. But once again it's such a hesitant decision. I have one foot in the water and the other wanting to go, just too afraid to jump completely in and get soaked.

It's such a nostalgic feeling. A part of me wants to give and share it all, but the other does not. I want this person to be the one who I can turn to with anything. But once again, we go back to the trust. I think I can, and truly feel, that I can trust them. But I don't always have the best judgement.

I fear.

I fear if I share all I will be rejected.

This person wouldn't want to be my friend any longer.

I fear it will be too much for them to emotionally handle.

I fear I will lose them.