We accept the love we think we deserve.

 This line strikes me as so profound and dripping in rich meaning, that it truly made me stop everything I was doing last night to ponder how that sentence affected me.

For many of us, love comes with terms and conditions.  That is the  way we first experienced love and that is what we have come to accept.  But those terms and conditions, like any contract, can be revoked, altered and enhanced to change the experiences we have in our lives.  We do not need to settle for anything less than the love we crave and the love we truly deserve, not just what we have come to expect.  We are the makers of our own destiny and only we can know if we are being loved the way we truly want to be loved.

Even Yoda gets it – there is no try, only do.  If I really think about it the subject line of this post, a very powerful sentence, had been hiding in the recesses of my brain for some time. I have written my parameters on how I deserve to be loved, and nothing is going to sway that decision.  There are no exceptions to the rules.  There is no room for discussion.  And the fundamental principle is simple – love me not because you can live with me, but because you can't imagine life being quite the same without me.  (Trite, but true)

Each of us is deserving of an all-encompassing love – one that sometimes seems to stifle us because the emotion is so overwhelming, but we could not possibly live our lives without.  It may be your spouse, your children, your friends or your family but regardless of where that feeling comes from, know that you truly deserve to be loved on your terms and not just theirs.   Don’t just accept what is offered – if you think you are worthy of more, demand more.

This last year I’ve spent days staring up at the sky, buried in the grass; happy. I’ve also spent many days and nights staring into nothing, buried in my thoughts; lost.

As I speak for myself, I’m sure I speak for many; sometimes giving someone your everything doesn’t seem like enough. We ask ourselves, why hasn’t this been working? Or, what am I not doing right? We find ourselves in a vicious cycle. Why do some stay in unhealthy relationships? Why do some reject those who love them? Why are some so lucky? Why, why. why.

The truth of it is simple: we truly do accept the love we think we deserve.

The way we are treated is dictated by ourselves, not others. If you don’t think you deserve to be treated the way you are, the only thing keeping you from walking away, is yourself. The real authority for change, is you. We’re sad when we think we have the right to be sad. We’re angry when we think we have the right to be angry. So why don’t we love, when we think we have the right to be loved?

We are imperfect beings, we are human. But our imperfections are neither reasons to stay, nor leave. We can always do better for others, and for ourselves; your choice is whether the trials pave a road worth traveling.

Allow those around you to love you, & love on those who surround you; don’t settle for less, & don’t cut yourself short- Because at the end of the day, the love we accept is the love we think we deserve.