If I had a dime for every minute I've spent staring at blank pages and blinking cursors I'd be able to pay for Ryder's college tuition. I tend to write better with pen anyways. But here, with pen, or with blog, it is the same. And I'm really crossing my fingers I can get back into blogging the way I used too. I'm really hoping I can get back into journal writing. I hope I can bring back the writer in me, I really liked her.
For my returning readers, I suppose now would be the time to elaborate on ideas that led us all here. I'll be more open than I'm ever used to, but It'll be good for me. I've struggled in the passed with self esteem issues, but never more than now, or I guess then, since now I'm on the recovery making progress. I guess for some reason when my confidence was attacked, blogging for some reason made it worse. You see I fell into a trap I call failure, which is something we all have to live with, something I simply couldn't. I cared way to much about disappointing people and that right there was most disappointing of all mistakes. Nothing drastic physically happened, only emotionally. You'd never be able to tell, but lets just say there were constant rainstorms blowing through my brain. but I'm beginning to fall back in love with the rain.
I used to believe that love was the only thing you need. But now, I believe, in order to truly love people, especially those who love us, we need to love ourselves. I believe in the potential we all have just in simply being human. But I would disregard myself out of that statement because my form of exercise was tearing myself esteem down. And so, I'm returning to this blog because I believe in creating a new self and I hope to capture her here. I believe we all have great places in store for us down the road. And I believe, down that road, is where love lies.
So,
here's too new starts, new posts, and many more to come.
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